pestering

As bad as it may sound, kids have their own way to coerce you: pestering. “Mum, I want this! Please, please, if you don't buy it, I'll cry”.

How many times have we seen a scene like this at, for example, the shopping centre? Embarrassed by the temper tantrum thrown by their children, parents give in and end up buying him whatever he wants. This is such a successful example of pestering, the insatiable desire to get new things among kids.

Dealing with pestering may drive you crazy unless you want to and can spoil your son or daughter. But is that really the best solution? Pay attention to the following article to find out ways to change your kid's expectations.

 

Pestering: Why does he do it? 

To answer that question, maybe we should ask ourselves why we want that brand-new car that our neighbour got a couple of weeks ago. We live in the era of consumerism, where companies design marketing campaigns that target all groups of customers. Of course, that includes kids, who can easily fall in love with those colourful toys and candies shown on commercials in between their favourite cartoons. Pestering could be considered as a consequence of consumerism: Kids count on you as their only resource to keep up with trends and fads, no matter how affordable they are. In fact, one of the keys of pestering is that children don’t understand why those things they want aren’t affordable or good for them!

 

Pestering: Setting boundaries

Pester power leads to a secondary issue: the lack of personal values. Generally, kids don't understand concepts like making budgets or adapting to certain financial situations, and that's why they pressure you to satisfy their whims and their pestering. As parents, our responsibility is to set boundaries and be firm about them.... 'No' is 'no', and your kid needs to accept that, no matter how dramatic the situation gets. You can be flexible, but it's also very important that you show authority and remind him or her that, the same way you provide them with love and a safe environment to grow up in, you make the financial decisions as well. If you don’t set boundaries, your kid’s pestering could get out of control.

Instead of getting angry when facing pestering, you should try to be natural and have an open conversation with your child about why you can't get him what he wants so much. Even if he's now disappointed, such experiences may help him develop a sense of what's important in the long run and make his pestering better. In addition, this can teach him to respect everyone else's opinions, a social skill that he'll need to deal with many situations in life.

 

Pestering: Techniques to keep you both calm

The best-case scenario would be one in which your child easily gave up pestering and you didn't have to try hard to convince him, but that's a lot to expect. Being more realistic, pestering may push you over the edge, and you need to be aware of your possible reaction. That's why the first way to reduce pester power is by working on your own emotions. Here's some good advice: 

  • Don't feel bad if you can't or don't want to treat your kid with a present. The sooner he understands you aren't related to the Rockefellers, the better!
  • If pestering is getting on your nerves, you should try to relax. Don't answer right away, take deep breaths and count to 10. Then talk to him!
  • Let Dad back you up, so you are not left alone on the spot with pestering.

 

And, now, it's time for the most difficult thing; learn some techniques to fight pestering without causing conflicts between you and your kid:

  • Stick to your answers: make sure you don't budge from what you mean. If you change it, especially from 'no' to 'yes', you'll be feeding pester power. The kid gets away with it, so he'll do it again.
  • Praise your child for good and pestering-free shopping behaviour: if he doesn't ask for anything, let him know how proud of him you are. You can tell him that he's very mature for his age and 'pay him back' with alternatives, like playing with him once you get home.
  • Explain yourself: you don't need to be harsh on your son or daughter. Make sure he realises that you care about his or her feelings, even though you can't please him or her this time.
  • Reduce your kid's exposure to TV commercials and advertisements.

If the tension increases and you are in a public place, don't let the 'social pressure' affect your decisions. Your kid crying in the middle of the shopping centre may catch many people's attention, but don't feel bad. This is part of parenting and you know that, as sad as it looks, the screaming tantrum is a necessary lesson for him.

 

Despite keeping pestering under control, it's important to pinpoint that there's a happiness component revolving this issue. You want your kid to be happy, of course, yet that's not a synonym of giving him everything. He can't just depend on new toys to be content, and that's the positive message that you need to instil him.

 

Need help? Ask other mummies in CaptainMums' forum!

 

Overall Rating (1)

5 out of 5 stars

Leave your comments

Post comment as a guest

0

People in this conversation

  • Guest - Mrs Adeel

    Rated 5 out of 5 stars

    Thanks i found it teally useful

    Like 0 Short URL:

Activity Stream

Mika has liked an Album 1 month ago
Mika shared a photo. 1 month ago
Pearl147 started a new discussion Breast implants while breastfe... 1 month ago

Hi all, I am a mother of a 2-month-old baby. I would like to know if I can consider getting breast implants now. My breasts are kind of very small and I was thinking about it since my high school. After marriage, I talked about this to my husband and he was very supportive as he also preferred plus sized ones. During pregnancy, I did not undergo t...

monica987 started a new discussion Is it safe to breastfeed while... 2 months ago

Hi!! I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my pregnancy period. My OB/GYN said it is common to have this as the placenta makes hormones that can lead to sugar in the blood. He also said that after delivery I won't have diabetes. It's been 1.5 years after delivery and I thought of undergoing mommy makeover surgery from a clinic in...

Kristenevan commented on the album Evan 2 months ago
Kristenevan shared a photo. 2 months ago
Kristenevan added a reply in discussion 6 week old on friday ... 2 months ago

Does she also arch her back ? Can you lay him down after a feed and she keeps it down or does she spit up when laying aswell? My son projectile vomited after each feed , done everything in my power to see if it was my milk/formula doing it.. turns out he has acid reflux and he's now on infant gaviscon sachets and ranitidine oral solution , worth a...

Kristenevan is now ranked up to New Member... ! 2 months ago
Kristenevan added a reply in discussion 6 week old on friday ... 2 months ago

Does she also arch her back ? Can you lay him down after a feed and she keeps it down or does she spit up when laying aswell? My son projectile vomited after each feed , done everything in my power to see if it was my milk/formula doing it.. turns out he has acid reflux and he's now on infant gaviscon sachets and ranitidine oral solution , worth a...

Tonianne129 started a new discussion Feeding... 2 months ago

My baby girl is now just over 4 months old but was 5 weeks premature. She weighs around 9lbs and a half now. Over the past week or so she's been megga greedy. The other day she had a 10 oz bottle in 1 and was still wanting more. The day after she took 25oz in 8 hours, that's more than she should have in 34 hours! Health visitors have advised not to...

Kristenevan My son is coming up for 14 weeks , he has bad acid reflux and on medication but he's constantly hungry and he's on aptimal hungrier milk taking 7oz... Show more 2 months ago
loader
loader
Attachment
monica_chou started a new discussion Is it safe to undergo laser ha... 2 months ago

Is it safe to undergo laser hair removal during breastfeeding? My brother's marriage is on June 11, 2017, and I want to look the best. I hate hair on my arms, legs, and face. During pregnancy, I did not undergo this procedure as I was told not to do it by my OB/GYN. I shaved during that time. I don't want to do it again. I'm planning to consult a...

Ancuta alexandra has liked an Album 2 months ago
Ancuta alexandra shared a photo. 2 months ago
Ciobanitaraluca added a reply in discussion 6 week old on friday ... 2 months ago

After feeding keep him up and massage his back to help him burp and what i do with my daughter is an advise from my mom she raised me the same is a good thing to give baby after every meal at least 1 sip of tea.Atention:no sugar or sweetners in tea and i recommend PUKA DETOX from tesco with anissed fenel and cardamom these plants helps for colics a...

jada1 added a reply in discussion Eating problems... 2 months ago

not at all dear being mummy is not as easy as it is considered to be lol, however dont worry sometimes morning sickness even lingers up to 40th week so be composed and never ever skip any of your meal no matter what you feel after that as it is important for you as well as for the little life, to deal with dizziness I recommend "no to morning sickn...

jada1 is now ranked up to New Member... ! 2 months ago
jada1 added a reply in discussion 6 week old on friday ... 2 months ago

is she on formula?????...

ashley1 added a reply in discussion Morning sickness... 2 months ago

exactly your baby relies on you for his diet so be careful about it, morning sickness is a general symptom which every mom has to suffer from for a while during pregnancy, be composed as there are certain things that can really effectively subside it like "no to morning sickness tea" is a great curative drink for morning sickness, try it and feel b...

ashley1 is now ranked up to New Member... ! 2 months ago
ashley1 added a reply in discussion 6 week old on friday ... 2 months ago

is she breastfed? better if you contact GP and see what he advises, my elder one would also vomit very bad and I were asked to change her formula, I didn't see any change even with formula change but it'd gone itself when she got a little stronger, dont rely on me as every one is different but be calm as it isn't a serious issue, I would suggest yo...

brianna added a reply in discussion feel super unhealthy ... 3 months ago

I have managed to get to pre-pregnancy weight after the baby arrived with supplementing with "mummy magic tea", its herbal and good for both mom and the baby, just want to say that you have options even if you are bound to it which does not match your needs at the moment, nonetheless the worst thing you would be doing is skipping your meal as the b...

brianna is now ranked up to New Member... ! 3 months ago
brianna added a reply in discussion When to consider prenatal mass... 3 months ago

rest rest and rest, nothing better than having rest during pregnancy,...

some natural remedies for toddlers constipation, he is in a real pain for a few days. dont want to put him on medication

angelina_taylor started a new discussion When to consider prenatal mass... 3 months ago

Hey!! I'm happy to announce that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. This is our first child and we are super excited. I would like to know if it's common to have leg cramps, back pain, and swelling of legs during pregnancy. I have researched and saw prenatal massage therapy but I don't know when exactly should one consider this procedure. I have scheduled an ...