pestering

As bad as it may sound, kids have their own way to coerce you: pestering. “Mum, I want this! Please, please, if you don't buy it, I'll cry”.

How many times have we seen a scene like this at, for example, the shopping centre? Embarrassed by the temper tantrum thrown by their children, parents give in and end up buying him whatever he wants. This is such a successful example of pestering, the insatiable desire to get new things among kids.

Dealing with pestering may drive you crazy unless you want to and can spoil your son or daughter. But is that really the best solution? Pay attention to the following article to find out ways to change your kid's expectations.

 

Pestering: Why does he do it? 

To answer that question, maybe we should ask ourselves why we want that brand-new car that our neighbour got a couple of weeks ago. We live in the era of consumerism, where companies design marketing campaigns that target all groups of customers. Of course, that includes kids, who can easily fall in love with those colourful toys and candies shown on commercials in between their favourite cartoons. Pestering could be considered as a consequence of consumerism: Kids count on you as their only resource to keep up with trends and fads, no matter how affordable they are. In fact, one of the keys of pestering is that children don’t understand why those things they want aren’t affordable or good for them!

 

Pestering: Setting boundaries

Pester power leads to a secondary issue: the lack of personal values. Generally, kids don't understand concepts like making budgets or adapting to certain financial situations, and that's why they pressure you to satisfy their whims and their pestering. As parents, our responsibility is to set boundaries and be firm about them.... 'No' is 'no', and your kid needs to accept that, no matter how dramatic the situation gets. You can be flexible, but it's also very important that you show authority and remind him or her that, the same way you provide them with love and a safe environment to grow up in, you make the financial decisions as well. If you don’t set boundaries, your kid’s pestering could get out of control.

Instead of getting angry when facing pestering, you should try to be natural and have an open conversation with your child about why you can't get him what he wants so much. Even if he's now disappointed, such experiences may help him develop a sense of what's important in the long run and make his pestering better. In addition, this can teach him to respect everyone else's opinions, a social skill that he'll need to deal with many situations in life.

 

Pestering: Techniques to keep you both calm

The best-case scenario would be one in which your child easily gave up pestering and you didn't have to try hard to convince him, but that's a lot to expect. Being more realistic, pestering may push you over the edge, and you need to be aware of your possible reaction. That's why the first way to reduce pester power is by working on your own emotions. Here's some good advice: 

  • Don't feel bad if you can't or don't want to treat your kid with a present. The sooner he understands you aren't related to the Rockefellers, the better!
  • If pestering is getting on your nerves, you should try to relax. Don't answer right away, take deep breaths and count to 10. Then talk to him!
  • Let Dad back you up, so you are not left alone on the spot with pestering.

 

And, now, it's time for the most difficult thing; learn some techniques to fight pestering without causing conflicts between you and your kid:

  • Stick to your answers: make sure you don't budge from what you mean. If you change it, especially from 'no' to 'yes', you'll be feeding pester power. The kid gets away with it, so he'll do it again.
  • Praise your child for good and pestering-free shopping behaviour: if he doesn't ask for anything, let him know how proud of him you are. You can tell him that he's very mature for his age and 'pay him back' with alternatives, like playing with him once you get home.
  • Explain yourself: you don't need to be harsh on your son or daughter. Make sure he realises that you care about his or her feelings, even though you can't please him or her this time.
  • Reduce your kid's exposure to TV commercials and advertisements.

If the tension increases and you are in a public place, don't let the 'social pressure' affect your decisions. Your kid crying in the middle of the shopping centre may catch many people's attention, but don't feel bad. This is part of parenting and you know that, as sad as it looks, the screaming tantrum is a necessary lesson for him.

 

Despite keeping pestering under control, it's important to pinpoint that there's a happiness component revolving this issue. You want your kid to be happy, of course, yet that's not a synonym of giving him everything. He can't just depend on new toys to be content, and that's the positive message that you need to instil him.

 

Need help? Ask other mummies in CaptainMums' forum!

 

Overall Rating (1)

5 out of 5 stars

Leave your comments

Post comment as a guest

0
Your comments are subjected to administrator's moderation.

People in this conversation

  • Guest - Mrs Adeel

    Rated 5 out of 5 stars

    Thanks i found it teally useful

    Like 0 Short URL:

Activity Stream

ESO201722 started a new discussion Great chance to join RS3gold 3... yesterday

Over the buy rs3 gold short and long haul it's all about a consistent persistent effort on your part in terms of continually serving up good reading material. Blog posting is the most basic and vital task any blogger can perform and must be done in a consistent fashion to make your presence known. In addition your consistency will also send out the...

ESO201722 added a reply in discussion What time is RS3gold 60% off f... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

ESO201722 added a reply in discussion When can you join RS3gold 60% ... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

ESO201722 added a reply in discussion Do you want to snap up 60% off... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

ESO201722 started a new discussion When can you join RS3gold 60% ... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

ESO201722 started a new discussion What time is RS3gold 60% off f... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

ESO201722 started a new discussion Do you want to snap up 60% off... 3 days ago

This month Runescape game is facing with the OSRS 2019 Birthday!do you prepare for this great event and do you already snap up cheap rs gold for your gaming,now never miss to snap up RS3gold 60% off rs gold on feb 20. First come, first served! So best chance to take part in RS3gold OSRS 6th Birthday celebration: There will be total 3500M RS3 gold ...

jollyhersblog started a new discussion Only Day To $70 OFF latest wo... 3 days ago

Mayor Linda Dahlmeier said she still thinks it is possible Women Fashion Dresses on Sale put cables surrounding the property. Citizens from Progreso, Texas, were found shot to death more than two weeks after they went missing from a restaurant near El Control. Frank Earnest, spokesman for the Virginia division. It is a risk to step away too long...

ESO201722 added a reply in discussion Where can I find 9% discount r... 5 days ago

We all know that Vanlentine's Day is on the way , so the important thing that RS3gold offers up to 9% off runescape gold for sale til Feb 15, If you wonder to snap up rs gold , Don't forget this good chance to save money. How will you go through the coming Valentine's Day ! Now RS3gold provides Valentine's Special deal: Up to 9% off code "PCS9"...

ESO201722 started a new discussion Where can I find 9% discount r... 5 days ago

We all know that Vanlentine's Day is on the way , so the important thing that RS3gold offers up to 9% off runescape gold for sale til Feb 15, If you wonder to snap up rs gold , Don't forget this good chance to save money. How will you go through the coming Valentine's Day ! Now RS3gold provides Valentine's Special deal: Up to 9% off code "PCS9"...

jollyhersblog started a new discussion when can i get 70% OFF women'... 5 days ago

Happy Valentine's Day! Check out Up To 70% OFF Women Valentine's Day dresses at Jollyhers!10% OFF code "LOVE" is also Available! Shop High-end Quality Women Dresses for Daily & Special Occasion at Jollyhers.com....

jollyhersblog started a new discussion What is the best website to g... 5 days ago

Happy Valentine's Day! Check out Up To 70% OFF Women Valentine's Day dresses at Jollyhers!10% OFF code "LOVE" is also Available! Shop High-end Quality Women Dresses for Daily & Special Occasion at Jollyhers.com....

jollyhersblog started a new discussion desire to have $70 OFF fashio... 5 days ago

State Department approved refugee processing center in Mobile. "But Fashion women dresses for sale allowances and grants are much harder to get, and the numbers of students working to support themselves are much greater.". He served four years and reached the rank of corporal. I grow up with many cars you show above. Seeing you can be extremely ...

davidwind added a reply in discussion What are the best ways to lose... 7 days ago

Hi, You can try Japanese diet https://bio-japan.net/supplements/weight-loss-drugs It helped me a lot and all my extra pounds simply vanished, Also mind that you should monitor your nutrition and increase your physical activity. Hope it can help...

Sallyford added a reply in discussion What are the best ways to lose... 7 days ago

I started with walking more and eating less fast food - which was my reason of existing. And as I saw that it even the little changes on my habits worked, it motivated me a lot. I was very surprised by the fact that a person could lose weight with just not eating fast food. So imagine the state I was in back then....

swratz started a new discussion What are the best ways to lose... 1 week ago

What are the best ways to lose weight?...

Cherry2 added a reply in discussion What games do you play with yo... 2 weeks ago

There are many variants. My son likes io games, they are very funny You can find many different genres on http://iospace.games/ there are only the best io games! You can launch them even on phone or tablet....

Aksha added a reply in discussion What games do you play with yo... 2 weeks ago

When they were little, “"Go Fish”, “"Old Maid”, “"Chutes and Ladders”. A little later: “Clue”, “Operation” and later still “Scrabble”, “"Trivial Pursuit”....

Bellatry started a new discussion What games do you play with yo... 2 weeks ago

What games do you play with your kids?...

ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Grab chance to gain 9% off runescape cash for gold for...

ome symptoms rs3 gold for sale of Videogame over use are...

  • Thursday, 07 February 2019 12:00 AM
  • Seattle, WA
ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Snap up RS3gold 9% off buy gold for runescape for...

Quests are rs3 gold for sale series of tasks with a...

  • Friday, 08 February 2019 12:00 AM
  • mississiple
ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Grab chance to gain 9% off buy rs gold cheap for RS3gold...

Swatting has rs3 gold for sale become enough of a drain on...

  • Wednesday, 06 February 2019 12:00 AM
  • seattle
ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Hurry up to get RS3gold 9% off free runescape money from...

The admins runescape 3 gold for sale donned their epic...

  • Tuesday, 05 February 2019 12:00 AM
  • Austin, TX
ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Could you get RS3gold 9% discount how to sell runescape...

This is runescape 3 gold for sale fairly straight forward....

  • Monday, 04 February 2019 11:00 AM
  • NETHAER LAND
ESO201722 added a new event 3 weeks ago

Will you get RS3gold 9% off where to sell runescape gold...

Aps a runescape 3 gold for sale favor concluda, o Mago...

  • Sunday, 03 February 2019 12:00 AM
  • washington